Last year, I signed Mae up for a gymnastics class at Seattle Gymnastic Academy. She loved it and loved her Coach [Jen]. In fact, she loved it so much that every time that I asked her what she wanted to do for the day she would shout, "gymnastics!" So without a doubt or hesitation, I signed her up for another class. However, when I signed her up I made sure she had a female instructor. Why? Because last session we had to do a makeup class and the makeup class had a male instructor. Mae refused to even be in the class and insisted she be in another instructors class that was going on concurrently, which they allowed. In hindsight big mistake on my part. So I figured to be on the safe side I would ensure to make it a smooth process and make sure she had a female coach.
Since I am not always on my game I accidentally went to the wrong class on the wrong day on the first session this time. Oops. Instead of going back to my original scheduled class, I kept with the class that I accidentally showed up with since they had space. I figured I hauled both kids there, we might as well just do this class. What did that mean? Mae ended up with a male instructor. No biggie or so I thought. I figured that Mae would eventually get on board since she loved gymnastics so much.
Well, we have been at it for a couple of months and Mae still isn't on board with a male coach. In fact, she cries every time we arrive and refuses to take part. Normally after many tears and much cajoling, pleading and threatening by me she takes part. It is such a pain though and I hate it. I am also always surprised because she has never once cried about being left at school, having a babysitter, or being left at child care at the gym or when we use backup care.
Since we haven't been to class in three weeks because of holiday, I mentioned to her that we had gymnastics today. To which she immediately replied, "Is it going to be Coach Corey." I said, "yes." She said, "I am not going today." Since I already paid over $200 and my money is nonrefundable that was not an option. Mind you, I could probably work to get her in another class on another day with a female coach. However, I don't feel that Mae can dictate who she gets as a teacher and she is going to have to get over it, knowing that she is eventually going to have a male coach, teacher, boss, etc...
Today, I used all the parenting tools I know. I was sweet, kind, rational, mean, and finally conniving. I talked to her about how cool he was and men are in general, how it is like daddy coaching, how men are awesome, etc... She didn't bite and again insisted she was not going. So I called in the big parenting gun of bribery. What did I bribe her with? I told her she would get M&Ms, marshmallows, and McDonald's for dinner on the way home. Shockingly she seemed ok with it. She got in the car and left the house with no whining. BUT when we got there it was a totally different story. She immediately started crying/whining. I told her we had a deal. (I was also the end of my rope with this). I finally was able to walk her out to the floor since class had already started. Her class was in the foam pit at the time. She literally sat there and cried and cried as I walked away saying, "I am not caving on this one." I feel so bad for Coach Corey that he has to deal with me and Mae. Eventually after Mae crying for 10 minutes and refusing to follow her coach to the next station, another woman coach came up to Mae and picked her up. Coach Rebecca comforted her and stayed with her for 10 minutes to get her adjusted. After the 45 minutes class, Mae was all smiles and happy, although still luke warm about Coach Corey. I praised her for her awesome job and told her "isn't Coach Corey so cool." Mae responded by saying "that lady came and rescued me."
Sadly the story doesn't end there. As we walked through the parking lot to our car Mae immediately starting discussing McDonalds. To which I replied that we weren't going. You can guess how that went other - not well, not well at all. I simply told her that our deal was that "IF you went to gymnastics and did not cry or whine and participated immediately we would go to McDonalds and since that didn't happen I couldn't get her McDonalds." Again that didn't go over so well. She was so disappointed but so was I. What did I learn? Looks like my child can't be bribed with this one. I have no idea what to do next.
As a side note, while I am trying to manage Mae through this all, I also am trying to manage Whitaker. What does that mean? I can't turn my back for a second otherwise he is running onto the floor and trying to participate in all the activities, which he does repeatedly. I then have to run and grab him and he is screaming and Mae is crying and I am standing there trying to not look totally nuts. There are also about 50 parents and 10 other kids watching us. It is pretty awesome in the most sarcastically put way.
Since I am not always on my game I accidentally went to the wrong class on the wrong day on the first session this time. Oops. Instead of going back to my original scheduled class, I kept with the class that I accidentally showed up with since they had space. I figured I hauled both kids there, we might as well just do this class. What did that mean? Mae ended up with a male instructor. No biggie or so I thought. I figured that Mae would eventually get on board since she loved gymnastics so much.
Well, we have been at it for a couple of months and Mae still isn't on board with a male coach. In fact, she cries every time we arrive and refuses to take part. Normally after many tears and much cajoling, pleading and threatening by me she takes part. It is such a pain though and I hate it. I am also always surprised because she has never once cried about being left at school, having a babysitter, or being left at child care at the gym or when we use backup care.
Since we haven't been to class in three weeks because of holiday, I mentioned to her that we had gymnastics today. To which she immediately replied, "Is it going to be Coach Corey." I said, "yes." She said, "I am not going today." Since I already paid over $200 and my money is nonrefundable that was not an option. Mind you, I could probably work to get her in another class on another day with a female coach. However, I don't feel that Mae can dictate who she gets as a teacher and she is going to have to get over it, knowing that she is eventually going to have a male coach, teacher, boss, etc...
Today, I used all the parenting tools I know. I was sweet, kind, rational, mean, and finally conniving. I talked to her about how cool he was and men are in general, how it is like daddy coaching, how men are awesome, etc... She didn't bite and again insisted she was not going. So I called in the big parenting gun of bribery. What did I bribe her with? I told her she would get M&Ms, marshmallows, and McDonald's for dinner on the way home. Shockingly she seemed ok with it. She got in the car and left the house with no whining. BUT when we got there it was a totally different story. She immediately started crying/whining. I told her we had a deal. (I was also the end of my rope with this). I finally was able to walk her out to the floor since class had already started. Her class was in the foam pit at the time. She literally sat there and cried and cried as I walked away saying, "I am not caving on this one." I feel so bad for Coach Corey that he has to deal with me and Mae. Eventually after Mae crying for 10 minutes and refusing to follow her coach to the next station, another woman coach came up to Mae and picked her up. Coach Rebecca comforted her and stayed with her for 10 minutes to get her adjusted. After the 45 minutes class, Mae was all smiles and happy, although still luke warm about Coach Corey. I praised her for her awesome job and told her "isn't Coach Corey so cool." Mae responded by saying "that lady came and rescued me."
Sadly the story doesn't end there. As we walked through the parking lot to our car Mae immediately starting discussing McDonalds. To which I replied that we weren't going. You can guess how that went other - not well, not well at all. I simply told her that our deal was that "IF you went to gymnastics and did not cry or whine and participated immediately we would go to McDonalds and since that didn't happen I couldn't get her McDonalds." Again that didn't go over so well. She was so disappointed but so was I. What did I learn? Looks like my child can't be bribed with this one. I have no idea what to do next.
As a side note, while I am trying to manage Mae through this all, I also am trying to manage Whitaker. What does that mean? I can't turn my back for a second otherwise he is running onto the floor and trying to participate in all the activities, which he does repeatedly. I then have to run and grab him and he is screaming and Mae is crying and I am standing there trying to not look totally nuts. There are also about 50 parents and 10 other kids watching us. It is pretty awesome in the most sarcastically put way.
2 comments:
Ohh... I feel so badly for BOTH of you. Here are just my (little) two cents. You called this from the get-go. You knew she'd have an issue with a male coach and because of your initial "mistake" of going to the wrong class at the wrong time, Mae is having to pay for it over and over again. :( Not really fair. Also, she's SO little. Maybe he is creepy. Maybe he touches them weirdly. I'm not trying to be dramatic but I don't think you should make her go to his class or MAKE her like an adult (especially a male one). If I were you, I'd find a way to get her into the female coach's class and tell Mae the next session with Coach Corey is her last. That way she has to "follow through" with the commitment (but not really). Anyway, we can talk more about it. But that's just my humble opinion. :)
Turns out I have a few more "cents" since I keep thinking about Mae. Remember too in a society when we often encourage women to go against their instinct to be polite, often for a man's benefit, and end up in trouble. Certainly not the lesson you want to pass on. And lastly, this was supposed to be FUN, not miserable. Save the life lesson of male bosses, etc for when she's older and maybe has a male teacher. At three, for gymnastics, I say switch her out!! :-)
Post a Comment