Sometimes I write down what the kids say to me on pieces of paper or email myself so that I can remember it. Most of the times, the pieces of papers are lost or the emails deleted. However, I remember this one night many months ago that Mae said something that struck me so utterly sweet. It was so sweet because I know what she said was finite. I know that the moments of her physically needing me will not last forever. It is all so bitter sweet that I want to stay here forever but since I can't I need to soak it up every single night.
One night Mae looked at me while we were laying in bed together and she said, "I can't go to bed without Mommy cuddles."
If you must know we have sorta of changed our bedtime routine. Not seriously changed, we still do bath, then books, then bed. However, about a year ago Mae asked me to lay in bed and cuddle with her after turning off the lights. In the beginning years of Mae's life, I would exit the room after turning off the lights so fast that it was like a lightening bolt. I felt that in the early years, I spent so much time picking up, carrying, cuddling and holding Mae that I didn't think there needed to be anymore cuddling during the day. However, as Mae has gotten older there are definitely less of these moments, although she still is very affectionate. I felt when she asked me to cuddle the first night and the night after and every night since that I too was craving more cuddles. So now after turning off the lights and going to put Whitaker to bed I sneak back in and steal cuddles with Mae. This also happens to be a time when she will share a lot. And if Pearson so happens to come home in time to put the kids to bed, I always go up and cuddle with Mae. Another thing to note, during the cuddles, Mae rubs her leg against mine like a cricket. It is her way of settling herself down.
Just a little ritual in our life that happens every single night.
One night Mae looked at me while we were laying in bed together and she said, "I can't go to bed without Mommy cuddles."
If you must know we have sorta of changed our bedtime routine. Not seriously changed, we still do bath, then books, then bed. However, about a year ago Mae asked me to lay in bed and cuddle with her after turning off the lights. In the beginning years of Mae's life, I would exit the room after turning off the lights so fast that it was like a lightening bolt. I felt that in the early years, I spent so much time picking up, carrying, cuddling and holding Mae that I didn't think there needed to be anymore cuddling during the day. However, as Mae has gotten older there are definitely less of these moments, although she still is very affectionate. I felt when she asked me to cuddle the first night and the night after and every night since that I too was craving more cuddles. So now after turning off the lights and going to put Whitaker to bed I sneak back in and steal cuddles with Mae. This also happens to be a time when she will share a lot. And if Pearson so happens to come home in time to put the kids to bed, I always go up and cuddle with Mae. Another thing to note, during the cuddles, Mae rubs her leg against mine like a cricket. It is her way of settling herself down.
Just a little ritual in our life that happens every single night.
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