Every Thursday for a Year - Week 9

Whitaker Ian Cummings - Week 8

Oops, forgot to take a picture and post yesterday but here is a picture from Wednesday that will have to suffice. Don't think he changed too much in a day.

Admitting Defeat

On this "online journal," I generally talk about all the brilliant and amazing qualities of my children's personalities and the happy and exciting things we are doing day to day. Little, if ever, do I point out my thoughts or feelings about the negative sides of parenting or the difficulties I am having. I know that seems unrealistic but I can honestly say I don't have a lot to complain. Of course, I want to be 20 pounds thinner (now more like 40), have a home worthy of a design magazine, have a husband who brings me fresh flowers every week, travel all over the world and get a weekly massage. But those things aren't going to happen (or at least in the near future) so I have deciding complaining about them is futile.

I have been hesitate to post about this because I was hoping it wasn't really happening. Bottom line, I have felt defeated as a parent. To better explain it, it might be easier to copy the note, I wrote yesterday on a mom list serv.


Hey All,

Need some advice. I really was hoping to skip this stage with my daughter but looks like it has reared its ugly head. My 22 month old daughter has recently started exhibiting negative behavior towards other kids, mainly in the form of pushing, pulling hair, and scratching. Today, the behavior came to a head when she scratched her friend's face and drew blood. I was of course horrified (and humiliated) and think that the mom I was with was also horrified (of course compounding my worries). Anyways, I had my second baby eight weeks ago. In addition, my husband has been traveling quite a bit recently (he has been out of town three of the last four weeks). I am also a stay at home mom and don't have child care during the day. I am thinking that this is the perfect storm for this type of thing or do I just have a child with a higher propensity for this type of behavior? I have tried talking with my daughter before friends come over/we visit with friends that we will NOT push, pull hair, etc.. but that doesn't seem to make a difference. I also pull her aside and talk to her about it after the fact and make her apologize to recipient of her physical behavior, also doesn't seem to make a difference. Anyone have any experience or advice for this type of thing? Thanks in advance for your thoughts.


Best, Alison (Mom to Mae, 23 months and Whitaker, 2 months)


I have many mixed feelings about what has been going on. Part of me feels that I have failed as a parent or at a minimum at this stage of parenting. I know this is totally irrational thinking but when Mae all of sudden pushes a random kid on the playground, I wonder what I did wrong. Did I not prepare Mae enough for the arrival of Whitaker? Have I not given Mae enough attention since Whitaker? Did I give Mae too much attention before Whitaker? And it goes on and on.

After my post I recieved many wonderful responses. All of them normalized what we were going through and helped me remember that I am a decent mom. Two comments that stuck the most with me, "So hard...and it feels like a total referendum on your parenting, but itisn't. And it is absolutely developmentally appropriate (albeit veryunwanted) bahavior." And "The most important thing is that 2 y.o.s are not rational, that we do our worst parenting when people are looking and we feel embarrassed, and she'll grow out of it."

If you wonder how we are handling this Pearson and I have come up with a multi-pronged approach. First, trying to carve out some Mae and I time each day and if not each day then special time each week. Second, trying to praise her for her positive behavior. I realized over the last month I only give her a lot of attention when she is doing something wrong. Third, removing her from the situation and calmly but firmly telling her that we do not push/scratch/pull hair. Fourth, making sure that while playing with other kids we are involved in the play (or at least for now). I can only hope all of these things help to nip it in the butt. Otherwise, I might be rethinking the decent parent.

I will let you know how things go.

My New Biggest Fear

As a parent you are told about the dangers of EVERYTHING. The dangers of household items (such as drop side cribs, batteries, and window blinds), activities (baths and eating grapes and hotdogs), and other things (car accidents, strangers, etc.). In the world we live in, parents can/could/should be scared every moment of every day about these dangers. I have had a pretty minimum amount of fear that anything is going to happen to my children. That is not to say I would ever leave Mae or Whitaker alone in the bathtub or keep poisoinous substances in reach of their young hands. My BIGGEST fear as a parent is someone stealing one of my children. I freak out in grocerry stores if my cart is too far away from me. I know it seems pretty irrational on the probable scale of what could happen to my babies but it is something I have always worried about. Until today. I now have another fear.

Since we haven't had that much of a summer, we haven't gotten to do a lot of the summer things in Seattle, including visiting one of the wading pools. Anyways, today we decided to hit the wading pool at Volunteer Park. I was sitting on the side of the pool holding Whitaker while watching Mae frolic in the water (I made sure to not take my eyes off of Mae). She made her way to the center of the pool and was playing with some other kids. All of a sudden she fell (it is about two feet deep) and couldn't get herself up and went under the water. I have never felt that much fear in my entire life watching her flail around to get herself up. I leapt into action. I sprinted with Whitaker in my arms, in my clothes to the center and got her very quick. Thank goodness for all those years of life guarding training. She was understandably pretty shaken up and crying. Nothing compared to how I was freaking out inside. I was screaming in my head that I can't believe I could be that stupid to not being standing over her at all times. I am hoping that is the closest that I come to my new fear.

I wanted to document this event not to point out how terrified I was but a testament to how tough my little girls is. After about one minute of crying, she got right back in the water.

My Dearest Whitaker

My Dearest Whitaker,

Today, you are two months old. Your two month appointment confirmed (without a shadow of a doubt) what your dad and I have been saying. You are huge. Well, maybe not huge, rather healthy, very healthy. You are 24.5 inches tall and weigh in at 13 pounds and 12 ounces. This puts you in the 98th percentile for height and 90th percentile for mass. Like the rest of your body, your head is in the 98 percentile and meausures 42 centimeters. Full of many, many brains.

I would love to be able to go on and on (well not really) about all the complexities of your personality, but simply put, you are a joyful, relaxed, and easy baby. Don't worry you aren't complex. "Complexities" at this age are just a nice translation to describe a whole lot of crying and fussiness. You eat great (clearly). You seem to be sleeping well and have actually clocked off a couple 8 hour nights in the last month. I will wake up and look at my watch and wonder how you are still sleeping. This whole co-sleeping thing hasn't been as bad as I thought. Since those two activities, sleeping and eating, are still the bulk of your day I can't really complain about any of your traits.

This past month you have also started REALLY smiling at us [me, your dad, and sister]. I love when I look over at you and notice you are looking at me. I will smile at you and you will flash meet the sweetest grin. That is how I would characterize your smile, it is a grin. It originates in your mouth and takes over your whole face, even your eyes smile. It is contagiously huge and really easy to get. It melts my heart everytime.

I don't want to think that you are too, too perfect quite yet. You definitely have your moments of fusiness and crying. However, your fusiness is mostly resolved when someone picks you up and that person doesn't necessarily need to be me. As for your crying outbursts, you definitely have some lungs on you but the times you use them are mostly reserved for hunger.

You love baths and you have already learned how to kick your legs and "splash" around a little. We have already put you in the double stroller and you enjoy our walks around the neighborhood and our runs. You have rolled over (front to back) approximately four or five times. Honestly, I don't think it was intentional. I think that you have just gotten the momentum and have "rolled" over, however, when you are reading this in 30 years and you have your own kids, you can tell them that you rolled over at 6 weeks.

The summer has come and gone in fits and starts this year (one of the worst summers in Seatlle). When the weather is nice we have gotten out and tried to enjoy it as much as possible. Like all things, you take everything in stride and are happy going with the flow.

Well son, it is time to conclude this letter by telling you, you have brought pure happiness to my life. I tell your dad everyday that I wish I could stop time and you be my baby or this age forever. I don't think that is going to happen - wishful thinking on my part. Can't wait for the next month and spend more time with my favorite big/little guy.

I love you always.

Love, Mom

Every Thursday for A Year - Week 8

Whitaker Ian Cummings - 8 Weeks

Mae's Turn

I haven't been able to post as much as I would want to/like to recently. For the last month, Pearson has been traveling and/or working a ton. As you are aware (from my griping in previous posts), Pearson's work travel isn't a new occurence in our lives, however, with the addition of Whitaker to our lives, solo parenting two kids is doubly exhausted. Since Whitaker wakes at 5:30 am, nods off around 8:30/9 pm, and is up for multiple feedings throughout the night, I haven't felt much like getting on the computer. As you can tell, the only posts that I can get up these days are the weekly photos of Whitaker.


Due to my lack of posts, including Mae's 22 month letter (I started it I just haven't finished it), I feel that I have neglected my first child and the many things she has been doing. I have yet to write about the honeymoon being over with Whitaker, Mae's continuing verbal development, Mae getting into preschool AND her being able to count to 10 (insanely cute and awesome)!


In an attempt to teach Mae to share, I decided that Mae might be able to understand the concept of "taking turns" over "sharing." So the way it works instead of "sharing" a toy I try to tell Mae she will get a turn with a toy and then needs to give it to her friend/other kid in x number of minutes. You might wonder how it is going?

Mae now says, "Mae's tern" when she wants something that someone is playing with. (She doesn't do it all the time but it has reduced the number of times Mae has ripped a toy from a kid's hand. Too bad, it is seems to always be her turn and never anyone else's. Looks like I need to rethink this concept.

Every Thursday for a Year - Week 7

Whitaker Ian Cummings - 7 Weeks

Sibling Rivalry

I know over the next 18+ years many fights will ensue between my two kids. I am fully aware and semi-prepared to listen to "no, it is mine," "I had it first," "Mom, Mae is being mean," "Mom, Whitaker, hit me." They will fight over attention, physical space, objects of desire (toys, the car, etc), and silly and annoying quirks of each other (someone laughs to loud, some sneezes wrong, etc...). I am under no dellusion that this will be easy as a parent or for my kids. I can recall how my sisters, less Julie, and I fought for our entire childhood, into our teens year, and 20s. Geez, we still fight today as adults, moms, and wives. I don't know if sibling rivalry ever ends.


However, I didn't prepare myself for it to begin already. What happened? Mae scratched Whitaker on the face this weekend. I am not completely certain why or what provoked it. Poor Whitaker, he cried like a baby (rightfully so) but got over it pretty quick. Mae apologized (after being forced to by her parents) and looked sorry, although, I don't dare say this will stop her from doing it again. And so it begins folks.

Here are photos of them getting along and Mae also almost about to sit on Whitaker.

Every Thursday for a Year

I am a little bummed because I wasn't able to capture Whitaker while performing his new skill. Yep, like clock work he is showing us the social smile (happens at around 6 weeks), meaning he is smiling at me and Pearson and Mae when we smile/talk/coo/entertain him.It is so darn sweet but hard to capture behind a camera. Anyways, here is Whitaker at 6 weeks.

Whitaker Ian Cummings - 6 Weeks

Summer is FINALLY Here!

The temperature FINALLY hit 80 degrees. When I say FINALLY, I mean finally. We have had a record setting stretch of cold weather. I believe it has been a little over 300 days of temperatures not reaching 80 degrees. It has been torture. Thankfully today, we actually got to work up a sweat.

What do you do when you start to sweat? You don a bikini and play in water. We put on Mae's bikini (thanks Aunt Julie), which Pearson calls her Toddlers and Tiaras suit and we headed to our friend Lucy's house for some outdoor water play. The girls had fun and Whitaker (my mellow man) slept or enjoyed Lucy's attention.

4th of July Weekend

First and most importantly, we added a new member to the family on the 4th of July. Heather, my sister, gave birth to her third boy, John Matthew Sanne. We are so happy for them and know that he will be loved beyond imagination and be highly entertained by his older brothers, Lucke and Will. We can't wait to meet him and wish their family the best. (I will try to add pics of him when my sister sends some around).

And in other news..

The holiday weekend brought summer weather to Seattle, still only in the 70s though. We took advantage of the long weekend and beautiful weather and headed to our favorite Seattle destination, Madison Park beach. Shockingly, Mae got in the water. She is clearly not my daughter. There is nothing I hate more than cold water. Despite the water temperature being in the low 60s, she loved it and asked Pearson for "more kicking." They stayed in for about a half hour and only because Pearson was freezing. Along with a couple trips to the beach, we celebrated Grandma Cummings and had 4th of July dinner with Karen, Zac, and Makana.

Happy Belated Birthday Grandma Cummings

Yesterday [July 2nd] was Grandma Cummings Birthday. We were fortunate that she was in Seattle and we got to celebrate her special day with her. We tried to teach Mae to say, "Happy Birthday Grandma" as a present to her but despite repeated practicing all we could get was "Happy Grandma." To celebrate Grandma C./Johanna/Mom we headed to brunch and were joined by some other family members. Below are photos from the celebration.

The Birthday Girl and Mae Walking to brunch.

Mae in her seat. This lasted for all of 15 minutes.

Whitaker enjoying brunch. He did eventually wakeup despite me hoping he would sleep the whole time.
Mae trying to feed me blueberries.

Grandma Cummings and Mae very interested in breakfast conversation.

Opening gifts.

All of us celebrating Johanna.